I want to tell you a little more about us. We went through years of infertility. We had tons of tests, surgeries, drugs, sadness, and a desperation we never knew existed. We also tried to adopt during that time which intensified these feelings beyond anything I had ever known. I was worse off than Jeramy, but we both felt lost and confused. We are Christians and were both raised with a strong sense of family – what we wanted was a good thing, why couldn’t we have the thing we wanted most? I fell into a deep depression – who was I, what was I meant to do, and how could I do it without hating everyone else? I didn’t do very well for a really, really long time. To be honest, I still struggle with many aspects of infertility and adoption, even with having two children now.
John O’Leary wrote an amazing book, On Fire. He described the difference between a victim a victor. They both ask the same question – but with very different meaning.
The VICTIM will ask “Why me?”
Why is this happening to me?
Why can’t I catch a break?
Why does everyone else have (insert what you want) but I don’t?
The VICTOR however, asks “Why me?”
What do I need to learn from this to make life better?
What do I have in my life that has prepared me to deal with this situation and can make it better?
The victor views each situation….as….a….gift.
Situations and experience will always come. Some will be good, some will be not so good. The idea is not to get away from the not so good experiences but to view them differently. Looking through each situation with an idea of gratitude will transform your life more than any other single activity.
What is your perspective?
Here’s to your success ~
Dr. Jessica and Jeramy Belnap
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