Three Areas to Check When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Sometimes the best plans don’t go your way. Take this story for example:
Sitting around a table one late evening are 3 men who are hyper focused on the papers in front of them. They have been talking in hushed voices as they discuss the contents of the papers, and occasionally get up to walk around and gain clarity. And then it happens….
Ideas are uncovered. Promises are made. Goals are created. The excitement is palpable, as everyone is almost giddy and moving around with anticipation! These goals will be met, they think. They will become part of the 1%, they say to themselves. Their idea is needed, they tell one another.
And so they start to work. At first, the work seems almost easy. The excitement sustains them and helps them to focus. Before long they hit a road bump, and then another, and then another. Some of the motivation is starting to dissipate, but as they talk to one another, they silently resolve to continue forward. Then the road makes a sharp curve that they weren’t expecting. Maybe they run out of funds, maybe their investment went south, maybe they couldn’t get their marketing quite right.
Whatever the reason, their goals are stopped in their tracks. What now? How do they move forward? Is this even the right move anymore? They feel they haven’t even gotten the traction they need, they haven’t caught a break and all they meet is hardship after hardship. Each would feel that things weren’t going their way.
Depending on which coach you are listening to, or what you are reading, you may be familiar with some of these suggestions:
Find your WHY.
Just keep going.
This will pay off.
Each of these statements are good in certain circumstances, but they don’t all work ALL of the time. What happens when you feel that you have been doing everything right and your world still isn’t falling into place? Here are my three areas to check when things don’t go your way:
It is true that what you feed yourself is what you get back. It sure is hard to stay positive when things feel crappy and don’t go your way at all. I have a few “go to” books, scriptures and talks:
- Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
- How to Fail at Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, by Scott Adams
- One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer, Ph.D.
- 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell (as well as other books and programs that we coach on because it’s important to practice what you teach!)
- Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, by Jeffery R. Holland
- God Did Not Put Us Here to Fail, by Jon M. Huntsman. Sr.
- Be Not Afraid, Only Believe, by Dieter F. Uchtdorf
- However Long and Hard the Road, by Jeffery R. & Patricia T. Holland
- Lessons from Liberty Jail, Jeffery R. Holland
- Trust in God, Then Go and Do, by Henry B. Eyring
- How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for your Personal Life, by Richard G. Scott
- Mountains to Climb by Henry B. Eyring
There are many examples and references that people will go to. These are a few that help me. I play and read these over and over. When I review them, they help me keep a positive perspective.
Check with Others
If you haven’t checked in with Heavenly Father in a bit about your plans, now is the time to do it. He should probably be the first one you check with… and not Facebook. Oftentimes, we pray about things that we think we want. But I have come to understand that aligning my will with his requires me to ask for the blessing of understanding. If my will is aligned, then GREAT! If not, then the blessing of understanding helps to bring comfort in the course I actually need to follow. Christ took times to go “oft into the mountains and pray.” Fill your cup. Reaffirm your faith. Change course as you need to.
Don’t be afraid to gather a small group of people together and talk. Share your struggles. Ask for guidance. Be meek and humble. Stay teachable. The answers they give may not be what you are ready for, but if you jot them down, you never know when they may fit in your life perfectly.
Check Your World Around You
What you may think is not moving forward, may not be in your eyes. You need to get other eyes. See things from a different perspective. If what you see isn’t what you want, what do you see that you have been blessed with? Maybe, you think what you have isn’t enough. And it may not be. But blessings come through the harvest, and joy will come to your life if you let yourself enjoy those little things. This is something that I have struggled with the most. I want more. What I feel I have is not good enough. I am also learning that I must be extra careful and diligent about where all of my blessings come from. If we don’t learn of our weaknesses, we will slowly be ensnared and not even know it.
The work is hard but, the work is worth it. Make sure it is the right work for you. Ask for priesthood blessings. Fast and pray often. Pay your tithing. Go to the temple when you can, or as President Nelson admonished us, study about the temple. Seek out spiritual gifts. Fortify your life with good things when the doubts and fears creep into your mind.
Check yourself, check with others and check your world around you to make sure you are still on the path He wants for you.