Self- worth is not the same as self- confidence.
I heard this statement a few times in the podcast Born to Impact. “Having self-confidence is not the same thing as having self-worth.” When I first heard this, I honestly didn’t know the difference between both of them and what the statement even meant. If I am confident in something I can do, shouldn’t I feel that I have value?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that confidence and worth are not the same thing. I have seen and known many people who are highly skilled and good at something who live at the bottom of the depression barrel. I have also seen many who don’t have super skills, but they are truly happy.
To complicate things, we also use another phrase: self-esteem. Confidence, esteem and worth are all unique traits, but we tend to confuse them. So for my sanity, here are the differences between self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth:
What’s the Difference?
Self-confidence is a feeling you have that comes from your appreciation of a quality or an ability that you have. Maybe there is a feature of your body that you are proud of or you have a skill or talent that you have developed. It could simply be that there is something you enjoy doing and you know you are not the best, but it brings you joy to do it.
Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself based on the world around you. Where confidence focuses on a skill or quality that you have, self-esteem builds as the world around you sees your value. Our perception of what the world thinks about us can alter self-esteem. I may have a skill at public speaking but can have low self-esteem if I don’t appreciate other people’s comments or downplay my role in influencing others.
Self-worth is on a spiritual plane so it is understanding who you are and what you have within you. It is knowing and acting according to this understanding – and being more patient and understanding of others, because the spark of divinity within you, is within others as well.
It takes all three. People that tend to be the happiest have all three. When you build one without the others, something negative comes out. It generally doesn’t take long to show up either. Negativity appears with feelings such as depression, sadness, doubt, loneliness, pride, failure and lack. Isn’t that funny? Opposition is just waiting to fill the void, especially in our weak moments. You may never have equal amounts of confidence, esteem and worth, but the way we become better is to work towards creating a balance that helps us to be happy.
Stay tuned for our upcoming post on how to work on developing self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth! In the meantime, start with this:
“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” –Louise L. Hay
Take a few minutes and consider how often you are criticizing yourself. It may be time to silence those overactive and inaccurate thoughts.
For more insights, check out my book here!